Dear Education Career,

You suck.

No love from me,
Tina

Kids Say the Darndest Things, Final Part (or until another kid says something ridiculous)

Two stories from school: (Names have been changed to protect the innocent)

#1:
Flute Student: "Do you want to know what Pete said about you?"

Me: "Sure."

Flute Student: "He said that you look like you're about to pop at any moment!"

Me: "Well, yes, I do look like that, don't I?"

Flute Student: "Yeah, I guess so."


#2:
One of our special ed teachers was telling me about a student that I have who was having a particularly rough day. He was having a meltdown during lunch because he did not get an extra garlic breadstick, and so he was standing on the yellow "X" in her room (his time-out area). She left the room, leaving him, a para, and the occupational therapist in the room. She came back a few minutes later, hoping to find him calmed down, but instead he found him even more agitated and the two teachers laughing hysterically. When she asked what was so funny, they said that his meltdown went from a garlic breadstick to realizing that I was having a baby, and so he was sobbing, "I didn't get a garlic breadstick, and Mrs. Tina is pregnant!" Apparently he had just come to this realization, and thought this was the worst thing in the world. The special ed teacher told him, "Mrs. Tina is not crying about it, so neither are you!"

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Yesterday at work I was feeling pretty crummy. This whole working-until-the-baby-pops-instead-of-napping-three-times-a-day thing sucks.

Anyway, my second graders had just come into class and they were sitting in a circle on the floor. Usually, I sit on the floor with them, but since I was feeling pretty bad, and since it takes me about two minutes to get up off the floor now anyway, I had pulled a chair into the circle to sit on. Immediately one of my students raises his hand, and the following conversation begins:

Student #1: Why are you sitting on a chair?

Me: Because I'm not feeling so well, and it's hard for me to get off the floor nowadays.

Student #1: Why?

Me: Because the baby is getting really big.

(It's here that I should probably mention that Helmette was incredibly active that day, and was squirming around like crazy during this conversation.)

Student #2, who is sitting right to my left: I just saw your shirt move!

All Students: Eyes zoom in on my ever-expanding belly.

Random Students now shouting out: I see, it too! Me too! I saw the shirt move! I saw the baby! Wow! Ew, gross!

(I should also probably mention that by the time the kids starting shouting out, Helmette had piped back down, and the kids saw nothing)

Me, pulling my sweater across my mid-section: Yep, pretty cool, huh? OK, let's move on to....

And luckily, the kids were able to focus once again after the promise of a game at the end of class if they worked hard that day.

An Elementary Faux-Pas

My afternoon was going great today.  My classes were well-behaved, my students were having fun, and I was generally enjoying my job.  My third grade class left, and I took a quick peek out the door to see if my fourth grade class was waiting.  I didn't see them, so I went back into my room to get a few things ready.  

I then hear two girls come to my door - "Mrs. Tina, are you ready for us?"  I couldn't believe it - my class was outside ready to go, but they were so quiet - unheard of in an elementary building - that I didn't even know they were there.  I walked outside to see the entire class standing perfectly quiet and still, and the teacher beaming with pride.  

"I can't believe you are so quiet!  Way to do you jobs!", I compliment my fourth graders.  This particular group has been fantastic so far this year, a welcome change for their teacher, who had some real hellraisers last year.  

The teacher says something complimentary about the students to me.  I don't really remember how it all led up to what I said, but as I respond to the teacher, I said it.  

The word.

The S-dash-dash-dash-dash-dash word.  

Shut up.  

Now, I didn't tell the kids to shut up.  I didn't tell the teacher to shut up.  I said it in a very complimentary, Stacey-London-on-What-Not-To-Wear, "shut-up!"  way.  

You should have seen the looks on those kids faces when I said it.  The teacher's face said it all.  I might as well have dropped the f-bomb for the looks I got.  The teacher, of course, found this very hilarious, and I had to apologize and explain to the kids what I meant.  And in the end, they were entertained and amused by all of this.  

I'm sure my students will go home tonight and when asked how their day at school was, will lead with that story.  

Tina Blogs About It All

It seems as though there is a lot of catching up that needs to be done on this blog - a lot of stuff is happening around Casa Fifty Below!  All of it has happened in a few short summer days, when things are supposed to be slow and lazy.  So much for easing our way back into reality from vacation!

First, the good news - I have full-time employment for next year!  WOO HOO!!!  I had an interview on Thursday morning for an elementary band position in my current district, which when combined with my elementary music job, gives me full-time status.  'Bout time, is all I have to say.  Now, if they can just keep me for one more year, I'll have my tenure.....

Now, the not-so-good news - we've been having some nasty summer storms in the Northlands! On Friday night it rained, hailed, and blew a hell of a mess into our yard.  We were hoping for some serious hail that would damage our siding and roof to the point of insurance replacement (without damaging our beautiful new windows!), but alas, Mother Nature had other plans for our landscape.

One of our backyard trees lost a pretty big branch.  Mitch got most of it cleaned up, but to cut the rest of the dangling part down might take out a large chunk of the tree.  Stay tuned for whether or not the tree has to go, or whether it can be saved.  Let's hope we can keep it - Gizmo's new (but gently used from The Mrs.'s garage sale - thanks!) swing just got installed!

Our garden also took a pretty good hit, as you can see from my tomato and corn plants that got practically bowled over with wind and rain.

Finally, the really bad news - Gizmo is sick, again.  This time, she's been diagnosed with roseola, a common viral disease that should hopefully have run its course by Wednesday.  She's been awfully irritable, has run a fever, is choosing not to eat and sleep, and has a nasty-looking rash.  Poor thing was put through the wringer at the doctor's office on Saturday, as they suspected it was a bladder infections, and so she was poked and prodded for blood and urine samples, and then given a shot.  It was ugly.  Luckily, she hasn't lost the ability to flash a smile when the camera is on her.

Such a ham, that one is.

Here's to hoping that this week is a little bit slower than the last few days!

Well, Maybe Just a Little Piece

If you were a Seinfeld watcher, I'm sure you remember the episode where Elaine's coworkers were eating cake at every "celebration", including birthdays and sick days.  

My job at the elementary school is very similar to Elaine's reality.  Every day is some kid's birthday, and they inevitably show up at my door to share their classroom treats with their favorite music teacher.  (OK, maybe I've elaborated the "favorite" part.  I am their only music teacher, so by default I am their favorite.)  Anyway, each day is a new treat - cupcakes are popular, but sometimes it's candy bars, cookies, and today it was an ice cream sandwich.

This job has certainly not helped in any weight-loss goals I have set for myself.  But, it sure is nice to have the sugar rush after dealing with a crappy group of third graders.  I fear what next week will bring when school is out and there are no cupcakes in the house.  I'll need to find the nearest bakery.  Stat.

Living in a Scene from Office Space

Today I had an interview!  For my current job. 

Well, to be honest, it wasn't my exact job.  It was only part of it.  The other part is completely eliminated for next year.

Now, my boss has told me that he will be re-hiring me back and that the interview is just a formality.  But, they also interviewed three other candidates for my position.  That's just slightly unnerving, especially since the other candidates were certainly less experienced (read: cheaper) than I am.  

Here's to hoping that I can be re-hired for the job that my boss has observed me as being "great" at.  Otherwise, there is something really, really wrong with the universe.   

Counting My Blessings

This week has been an interesting one at work.  Parent-teacher conferences always bring about some stories, but unfortunately none are quirky or fun.  Even more interesting, if it can be called that, are the stories I have heard from administrators regarding students in my class.

In the last two days, I have heard more than a few heart-wrenching stories about children and their home lives.  Many come from broken homes, parents who are out of work, parents who are either absent or incarcerated, parents with substance abuse, and kids who are living with extended family members, often older grandparents who are in bad health.  These students need help, love, a shoulder to cry on, and a positive adult role model.  Often these kids cry out in disruptive, destructive, or disrespectful ways, only because they are not sure how to get help or the right kind of attention.  My heart goes out to these kids, because it is the parents in their lives who are not providing the balance and security that kids so desperately need.  

In hearing these stories, it makes me so thankful that my marriage to Mitch is strong, that our love for Gizmo is unwavering, and that we had great role models in our parents to show us how to raise a family right.  

'Twas the Night Before The Elementary Program....

.....and Tina has decided 

that she'll need tequila

when Friday arrives.

How are thee different? Oh, let me count the ways....

I have been teaching in an elementary building for over a month now, and to be honest, I'm finding the transition to the little ones a little difficult.  There are so many things that are different:

• in middle or high school, you rarely have to worry about your students peeing their pants.
• middle and high school students don't tattle; in fact, they do their very best to keep things hidden.  Not so much with little kids, who feel the need to tell you if little Johnny looked at them wrong.  (I can't stand this part of the job.)
• they are so damn squirrelly.  Do they ever sit still?  Lots of times middle and high school students sit comatose through the entire class.  (Wow, after writing that, it makes it sound like I might not be an engaging teacher.  We all know that's not true.  :)
• little ones must have VERY SPECIFIC instructions.  
• along those same lines, kids can't just be told to do something.  They have to take turns.  I made the mistake of giving the following instructions:  1) go pick up a book from the stack, and 2) return to their seats.  In five seconds, there were 15 2nd graders on top of each other, fighting to get the first book.  

Not only are the kids different, but the entire building has a different vibe.  For example, the other day in the teacher's lounge at lunch, one of the first grade teachers was showing off her latest book to help kids read, and she was essentially teaching a lesson at the table.  There were so many teachers who were into it!  Today the other music teacher was spouting off songs for the staff to sing at the Christmas program, and everyone starting singing along to each song.  

Really?

My question is this - where is the bitching?  Where is the cynicism?  Why are we talking about our jobs at lunch?  Why aren't we complaining about kids?  I just don't understand why things must be all sunshine and roses all the time.  I'm a happy person, don't get me wrong.  But it's a little over-the-top for even my taste. 

Some days, I really miss being in a high school....

The Day Isn't Complete Until....

....you have a kindergarten boy put a "wow" sticker on your boob.  

I'm Not Quite Sure What I've Gotten Myself Into...

I survived the first week back at work.  I sure missed Gizmo, but every day got a little easier, and she had a great time with Grandma Jersey Girl.  It's work, now, that I'm worried about.

This year I have a really weird schedule - I teach middle school band and choir in the morning, then drive to the elementary school to teach K-5 music.  I know what you're thinking - "Tina, you've never taught elementary music before!  You never student taught in elementary music, or even taken a single class to know how to teach it!".  And you'd be right.  Man, am I wishing I could change that now.

Over the course of the week, I:

• had two boys get in a fight (with one crying) because one accidentally knocked the other kid's Rhythm Bingo card out of his hand
• had a little kindergarten boy start to strip during class
• had several collisions during movement activities, which resulted in "he/she hit me!" complaints
• heard "he already had a turn!" more times than I can count
• practically lost my voice from singing so much
• lost control of 27 3rd graders, which is not a good thing
• learned that 4th graders have no self-control
• realized that all of my discipline and classroom management strategies no longer apply in elementary music
• already broke my "if it doesn't get done at school, it's not getting done" rule

It might be a long year, as I'm not sure I am cut out for this gig.  The positive is that every day things were better and that I felt more confident in my teaching abilities.  It also means that I will most likely have some great stories to share on the blog.  It's no health class, but I have a feeling it might be entertaining!  

Is it Thanksgiving break yet?

'Bout Time!

Sorry to disappoint, but this post is not about the baby coming.  Although I'd be happy if that happened, too!

No, this post is to announce:

I finally have employment for the fall!

I will be returning to the same school district and doing a similar job to what I did last year, only adding elementary general music to my repertoire.  And I've added more time to my school day - I will be at a .8 position (which will be great!).  After next year, I'll be able to say that I have taught at every level K-12 and every discipline (except for orchestra stuff - but who wants to do that?!?).  

I'm so thankful that I get to go back to the same district and that they are having me back (read: they finally got their acts together and hired me back!).  Thanks to all of those who were praying and sending good thoughts.  Everything always works out the way its supposed to!

Send Good Thoughts....

After months of worrying about my job for next year, it seems as though things are finally starting to move and shake.....keep Mitch and me in your thoughts and prayers that things work out the way we want them to.  Hopefully we'll have a good report for you next week!

DONE!

I am done working until the end of October - what a great feeling!  

WOO HOO - SUMMER BREAK!

If you need me, I'll be sipping iced tea on the deck.  

The Reason I Teach

With the invention of Facebook, I have been able to keep in touch with several students that I have taught at MCHS.  One of my favorites that I keep in contact with is a girl named Jo.  A flute player and drum major, she was one of those kids that I could trust, that I counted on, that I had complete confidence in.  She is an amazing musician, an inspirational leader for her peers, and one of the most genuine, caring students I have ever worked with.  She would hang out in my office every day, asking what she could do to help me out, as she understood the incredible workload on my shoulders.  She brought me ice cream when I was having bad days.  She made paper chains to cover my office to count down to the end of her Senior year.  Jo is one of those special kids that has impacted my life, and I would be so lucky to ever have a kid like her.  

She recently posted a paper that she wrote for one of her college courses, and with her permission I am posting it here:

An America without Music
When you hear the word music what do you think of? Do you think of the songs you hear on the radio or your favorite band? Well, when I hear the word music I think of sitting in front of an audience in my high school gym playing a piece of music filled with eighth notes and sixteenth notes. It’s a song dedicated to the Columbine school shootings that brings tears to everyone’s eyes. It’s looking up to see your conductor with tears in her eyes because her band is playing a very moving piece. Music is a very powerful thing. It is a way to express yourself and connect with people. Where would America be without music? This is a problem that I don’t want to face, but with the economy the way it is, there is a risk of it.

Music is something that has always been a part of my life. Before I was involved in band, I would attend my older siblings’ band concerts and dream about the day I could be down there playing a flute in the band. In fourth grade I finally got my wish. I joined band and started learning how to play the flute. Looking back, I think of when I first started nearly ten years ago, and when the only song I could play was Hot Cross Buns. Now I can play a variety of songs, including my favorite and the most difficult, Abram’s Pursuit by David Holsinger. I listen to music differently than others. Instead of listening to the lyrics or the voice of the singer I listen to the background music. Sometimes I find myself humming the beat I hear coming from the rhythm section. Yet other times I think about what time signature is being played and conduct to it. I would say that I have a better respect for music, something band has taught me. 

Mrs. Tina, my high school band director had a positive effect on my life. She was always someone that I looked up to. She helped me with the music, learning scales, and all of the other things band directors do. Mrs. Tina had confidence in me as a flutist and a leader. She was a very dedicated to her job and would often stay after school to help students. Towards the end of my freshman year we were informed that the school was cutting some of the art and band teachers because they didn’t have money, and Mrs. Tina was one of them. I remember her last day, the empty wall in her office that used to be filled with pictures and crying because she was much more than a teacher to me. 

Lucky, she found another job in Florida teaching band. But you could see the toll it took on her and how stressful it had been. My junior year, while at drum major camp, I received the word that our band director resigned and Mrs. Tina was coming back to teach. Since the cut, the director was forced to do a job that two people always did. I was in my second year of being a drum major of the band and was in charge. Mrs. Tina trusted me with a lot of stuff and I wanted to help her in any way I could. I came in the summer before school started to help get things ready for marching band. During the school year I would often help her when I didn’t have class and stay after school too. She became more than just a teacher or someone I looked up to during my junior and senior years, she became a friend and someone I could count on. 

As the end of my senior year was approaching she told me that I was an outstanding musician and a wonderful leader. As I walked out that door for the last time I thought of the first time I met her four years ago; how she was someone I looked up to, and now as I walk out of the band room for the last time she is my friend. Last year she resigned for my high school to teach in Minnesota. I was very excited for her and glad she was doing what was right for her family. A few months ago, I received the news that she was expecting her first child. Not long after that we found out that she might be getting a “pink slip” from the school she was teaching at in Minnesota. I was so worried because it already happened to her once when she taught at my school. A few weeks later we found out that it was her that was going to be receiving her pink slip. It’s so hard to even explain how I feel about this, that they would give up such a wonderful and influential teacher. The future is unsure and it is very stressful for her, especially since she is expecting her first child in August. I am fully confident that she will make it through this tough time and everything will be fine. 

This is happening all over America. Schools are not receiving enough funding and are forced to cut teachers. The first place they look is music and arts because they are seen as less important as history or English. Mrs. Tina had a huge impact on my life, and there are thousands of music teachers that are in the same position as her. The government has money to bail out banks and large corporations, but not our schools? Where would everyone be without education? America needs to get its priorities straight, schools and music should be first on the agenda. I still find myself trying to picture life without music, but it’s nearly impossible.

Needless to say, I cried like a hormonal pregnant lady when I read this.  

Jo reminded me why, through all of the cuts and stress and tough times, I continue to teach.  Music communicates what words cannot, it brings people together for a common goal, and it can truly impact lives.  Jo is changed forever because of the experiences she had during her high school career.  I am so thankful to have been a part of that.  It's so easy to dismiss the fine arts, to think it's not important, and even easier to dismiss the impact that teachers can have on students. I think Jo's testimonial showcases what so many teachers do every day - go the extra mile for their students, not because we are seeking recognition or praise, but because we want to give the best we can to our students so that they may be better people for it.  This is such a rare occasion that a student would even acknowledge the positive impact a teacher has on their life, and that is why it is so special to me.  

I have always struggled with the decision I made about going back to MCHS.  It was taxing on my marriage, on my health, on my parents, and on my sanity.  It was by far the most difficult time of my entire life.  Jo's paper shows me that I absolutely made the right decision.  

Thanks, Jo.  Love ya.

The Time Has Come...

Tonight at my school district's board meeting I'll officially be cut for next year.  My principal informed me last Thursday of the decision.  Basically, they are cutting almost every non-tenured teacher for next year, then hiring them back as needed.  

If you ask me, it's a crock of shit.  

There is the potential of me having a position somewhere in the district that would be part-time, but we won't know for the next few months while everything plays out and the schools determine their needs. 

Here's a question - how can you NOT know your needs?  Seriously?  

I am beyond annoyed and upset about the whole thing, but mostly just annoyed.  This will make RIF #2 for me - why should I continue to teach when my hard work is not valued?  When will the fine arts ever get some freaking support?

Anyone know of any job postings that will hire a pregnant lady who needs maternity leave at the beginning of the year?  Because I'm interested.

Writing on the Wall

I had a meeting with my principals today after hearing rumors of the proposed new schedule for next year....no job for me planned.  It's not official yet, but I'd say it's 95% sure that I'm out for next year.  Still a couple of tricks up my sleeve that could keep me in....but it's not good, people.  Short of a miracle, that pink slip will show up in about two weeks.  If only I could drown my sorrows in a few margaritas.....

Subbing Stories

Warning!  The following post may not be suitable for any reader who is uncomfortable with reading anything that may be discussed in a 7th grade health class.  

The health teacher in my building had a baby last night, a little girl named Kate (if I would have known she was planning to use that name, I would have warned her...)  There are two points to me telling you this:

1.  She worked all day yesterday, and had the baby at 7:00 last night.  I am in total awe of her.  I also hope that I go that fast.  (I don't think I'll be nearly as lucky)

2.  I got to sub in health today again!

Since tomorrow is the last day of the trimester, the students had put together presentations that they gave today.  Luckily, there was a grading rubric so I had no problems in grading their projects.  They had nine choices for projects and had to choose three.  I'll give you the highlights on what I saw in two classes today:

• One group created a board game based on the female reproductive system.  If you went the wrong way on the board, you came to a dead end (i.e., that fallopian tube wasn't working).
• Another group created a "Go Fish" - style game where you had to find pairs of the male reproductive system.  The cards didn't have words, but pictures of all of the male parts.  For example, penis, vas deferens, testes....you get the idea.
• Several students created their own obituaries.  The most interesting deaths?  Mad cow disease and hit in the head with a hockey puck.
• A few kids presented about different STD's.  They all giggled when they talked about how you could contract diseases like genital herpes.  (7th graders should never use the words "oral" and "anal" in the same sentence.  They can't do it without giggling.)
• Some of them wrote a newspaper column, similar to a "Dear Abby" article.  For example, one girl wrote, "Dear Health Nut, I just switched from pads to tampons, but now have some weird symptoms, like rash and fever.  What should I do?" 

And maybe the best of all....

• Students made both the male and female reproductive systems out of food.  I saw a uterus made out of M&Ms, a bladder made out of a Ding Dong (I thought these would have been better for the testes, but what do I know), plenty of urethras and fallopian tubes made of licorice, and a penis made out of a Fruit Roll-Up.  

And if you're wondering, yes, they had to present this to the entire class.  Out loud.  Talking.  Honestly, how they made it through without a lot of giggling is beyond me.  I felt a little embarrassed at times!

Ah, how I love to sub....

Bad News on the Job Front

There was an impromptu faculty meeting this morning in my building regarding the budget issues in the district.  We are $1.2 million away from having a balanced budget, and all schools in the district must make cuts.  The plan for the middle school is to cut 4.5 teaching positions.  The odds aren't good for me.  

Please keep Mitch and I in your thoughts and prayers, as we hope that the worst won't happen, but we're preparing for it.  We're hoping that the stimulus package for education in MN will help to save my job, even if it means not knowing until the summertime.