There's been some banter on my comments section about The Mrs. coming to visit. You see, The Mrs. has lost her mind and has started training for a half-marathon after being guilted by one of her best friends. My Auntie M thinks I should run with her while she's here. I think she's fallen off her rocker.
I actually did run one season of track with The Mrs. at good old DTHS. The Mrs. had been a member of the school track team since junior high, and was one of the best on the team. I joined because I had just started working at the Dairy Queen, and wanted to maintain my svelte high school figure for the upcoming prom. I told the coach that I just wanted to practice, but never run in meets. I would be happy to go along to the meets for moral support, but knew I was bad and didn't want to compete. She agreed to this deal.
After a few weeks of grueling practices (my God! running is so hard!), our first track meet was upon us, and I was SHOCKED to see that I was registered for one event - the 100-meter dash. I immediately went to the coach to correct the mistake, but she believed in me and said for me to do my best. Well, my best was second to last in my heat - I finished only in front of Carol Chen, our foreign exchange student that year at DTHS. And I was as slow as molasses. I think I ran that 100-meter dash in something ridiculous like 22 seconds.
In meet after meet, I always ran the 100-meter dash. And I NEVER beat anyone, except Carol Chen. (Oh, and one other girl from Pontiac. Sucker. She was really bad.) At one meet in Seneca, the coach even made me run the 200-meter relay. I seriously thought I was going to die, of both exhaustion and embarrassment.
I was seriously terrible. Everyone knew this. I knew this. But I had fun. I finished the season. And we were conference champs that year. My name is on the back of the shirt. (I wonder where that shirt is.....)
And I looked great in my prom dress that year.
6 comments:
This is, without a doubt, in my top three favorite blog posts of all time. Flippin' hilarious.
However, I feel the need to clear up a couple of misconceptions:
1. I'm not training for a half-marathon. Baby steps: 5 miles in July then we'll see about adding another 8.
2. I was not one of the best on the team. Evidence: As a senior, I was kicked off my own relay team the night before the sectional to assure them a trip to state even though I helped get them there the year before. And no, I'm not still bitter about that. Why do you ask?
3. Tina was slightly faster than the speed of molasses. And I've never yelled louder for a family member than in those 22 seconds.
And to serve as verification of the truths told here:
1. Yes, it's very likely Tina's Auntie M is off her rocker. I've been saying that for years.
2. I, too, thought Tina was going to die during her leg of the 800 m. relay. Had I had access to an oxygen tank I would have been waiting for her at the finish line with it.
3. Running may be hard, but Tina really did look amazing at prom that year!
(and PS - I just threw out that conference champ t-shirt within the last year. Now I'm sad I don't still have it. I would have proudly exited the plan next weekend wearing it.)
HAHAHAHAHAHA, I'm so glad I posted that I couldn't figure out what it meant... I agree one of your best posts ever!!
This is hilarious! I am glad someone else joined the track team for something other than the competition of it. In jr high at DGS, Jaime and I joined the team so that we didn't have to ride the bus home! Our intention was to just practice, also. But, they put us both in the 800 ONCE. We both "ran" side by side most of the race and talked about how much we hated track. Then, the last 100 meters we decided to race. That way, only one of us would finish last!
Pretty sure they never put us in the same event again.
Besides posting pictures of Gizmo, this is my favorite post! I am giggling as I type this. I do remember yelling for Tina during that 100 meter race! Yes, I may be off my rocker but wouln't trade those days for anything! Just for the records, I was the best cheerleader the Mrs. had, she often told me I had the biggest mouth in the stands, she even heard me yell at the state championship! Parkers, you kill me...I would have yelled for you but never knew which one you were!! Auntie M
Can't wait for the 5 mile race, have to get my vocal chords in order!
Running is over rated. And in view of the post from a few weeks ago, running would be a bad idea for Tina. Weak ankles. A fast paced walk is easier on the knees. But for the Mrs.,,,,,,, you go girl!
My laugh for the day!! I do beleive i have saved that t-shirt somewhere.......i'll have to hunt it down!....i'm sure it would still fit you!!!
Post a Comment